I was honored to be able to share at our church's women's fellowship meal a while back, and felt led to prepare this. Anytime I speak truth like this I get pretty nervous - like I'm worried someone will get offended, you know? I'm working on that, lol! But here's what the Lord gave me this time. Hope it blesses you too!
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Have you ever met someone who just seemed to always be a victim? I’m not talking about those truly victimized people that have lived through life’s worst horrors - I’m talking about those who always have something bad happening, and it’s always someone else’s fault.
I have thankfully earned the reputation of being a friendly and encouraging person. And I LOVE being an encourager. But y’all… it sure does take a lot of energy trying to encourage someone who is so determined to be someone else’s victim.
Being done wrong is a hurtful thing, And not to sound all “Pollyanna” or little miss sunshine, here - but in most cases, we CAN get over being done wrong. I’m talking about church hurt, toxic family members, “friend” issues….(to be crystal clear, I am NOT talking about criminal issues).
The big question is: how do we make sure we heal from the hurt?
The first thing I’ve learned is that we need to be realistic about the hurt. Know and recognize that it HURTS. Give yourself time to feel that hurt, and cry and scream if you need to. Goodness, I think half the book of Psalms are the psalmists complaining and feeling bad for themselves! But if you notice, they ALWAYS turn their song of sorrow into a song of praise. So yes, feel it. It hurts….but in the hurt, remind yourself that there is One who is greater, bigger, stronger than ALL THE HURT.
Then, acknowledge that yes, it hurts, but it WILL HEAL. See, just like the pain of grief, we know that it will last through the night, but we have the promise that joy comes in the morning. (and with that joy come spiritual healing!) (See Psalm 30:5)
One thing I’ve learned in our physical therapy clinic is that there are times when people who have had surgery or a traumatic injury to a joint are SO traumatized by the pain of the first injury, they wind up GUARDING that shoulder or knee or whatever joint was injured. That means anytime they should be moving or using their joint - even the tiniest bit - they tense up and IN AN EFFORT TO PROTECT the joint, they actually wind up causing more harm because they are so scared of more pain, they don’t allow the proper healing motion or movement to stretch the muscles or break up the scar tissue - resulting in “frozen joints” or just sub-par range of motion or strength. And sometimes it might even leave them with chronic pain for something that might could have been prevented.
You know, we Christians do the same thing…in an effort to protect ourselves from more hurt, we create for ourselves a cozy little cocoon, all in the name of self-preservation from potential "threats". We TELL ourselves that we are protecting ourselves…but the truth is, we are probably just reliving things over and over…imagining different outcomes…imagining that people are talking about us when they’re not….imagining that everyone knows even though they probably don’t know … all while we stay huddled up away from people. We find ourselves isolated in this cocoon we’ve made, and although it may have been a defense mechanism to start with, we wind up cutting ourselves off from the very thing that gives us life. Sometimes we wind up isolating ourselves from God’s healing arms. All because we are staying in our cocoon of hurt, instead of allowing it to become a cocoon of healing and then leaving that cocoon behind and moving on.
So, sis - can I just encourage you today? The trick to making sure we move from the hurt to the healing can be found in one simple phrase we’ve taught my son for years: learn from it, and move on.
Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean that you forget what you’re moving from - remember, we need to be realistic about that hurt. But it means we don’t allow ourselves to be immobilized or paralyzed by it.
Realize the hurt, then keep moving where God is leading you, whether it’s a new path or continuing on the way he’d already shown you - knowing that every movement will bring a little bit more healing with it.
Yes - we may still carry scars, but our forward movement will prove that we are healed! Sometimes that forward movement might not look as graceful and PERFECT as we want it to…but if it’s movement in God’s direction, he will bless it!
And just in case, hold this passage below close to your heart for those days you need reminding of where you can REALLY go - instead of wrapping yourself in that cocoon!
Psalm 91:
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Ladies, the pain of life hurts, but we are promised that it will not overtake us! Learn from it, and move on!
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